Fuckery We Missed: Florida Man Tells Police He Has Sex With Pool Floats Instead Of Raping Women!! (6/17/2019)

Man Tells Police He Fucks Pool Floats Instead Of Raping Women!!!

Excerpt From Article:

On Thursday morning at approximately 1:25 a.m., police stopped a suspicious person who had a large garbage bag full of deflated pool floats.

Christopher William Monnin, 35, admitted to stealing the pool floats, and recently a bacon-shaped one because he has sex with them, the report said.

“Defendant stated that he sexually gratifies himself with the floats and does this instead of raping women,” the officer said.

At a loss for words with this fuckery…


Happy Father’s Day From HumanFuckery.com!!! (6/16/2019)

In observance of Father’s Day we’ve elected to repost all the fathers who are in contention for our end of the year award for Father Of The Year!

Texas Man Shoots Son, Then Has A ‘Father-Son’ Talk Before Stabbing Him To Death!!!

Excerpt From Article:

”(Fricks) stated that he was prepared to shoot (his son) in the back, and that was his plan,” prosecutors said. “He stated (his son) made the smart remark and turned to him. (Fricks) just started shooting him until nothing else came out of the handgun. After the shooting, (his son) was still alive.”

As his son was dying on the floor, Fricks initiated a “father-son” conversation with him, according to court records. After about 20 minutes, the son reportedly grabbed his father by the arm, at which point the father – already armed with a kitchen knife – stabbed him several times, prosecutors said.

Unbelievable… We at humanfuckery.com send our condolences to the ones who love this man..



Oregon Man Stole Daughter’s Cookie Sale Money To Pay For Erotic Massage!!

Excerpt From Article:

Couture initially told authorities someone had broken into his home in the 1000 block of Willamina Avenue and assaulted him, according to the district attorney’s office. Officers found the home had been ransacked and saw blood “strewn about,” prosecutors said.

Couture had injured himself, and the blood was “almost certainly” his, said Deputy District Attorney Thomas Belesiu.

Couture’s work laptop was also damaged, and about $700 was missing from a jar holding his daughter’s cookie earnings, according to prosecutors.

Investigators found inconsistencies in his story and challenged it. Couture eventually told police he stole the money to pay for the erotic massage and then “faked the robbery when he realized he couldn’t explain the missing funds,”

This man’s daughter should be able to get whatever she wants from her dad, all she’d have to do is ask her dad “hey dad remember when you stole my money from my cookie sales for a “exotic massage”? Unbelievable!!



Dad Claimed His Daughter Was Abducted In Carjacking, Dad Lied About Abduction To Get Car Back Faster!!

Either this fucktard isn’t fully sure how car insurance works or that he doesn’t have it to pull some fuckery like this.. Sadly we’ve seen someone falsify a amber alert because they were ripped off during a drug deal, for more info on that story please feel free to visit the see also link below.

see also:Amber Alert For Missing Illinois Infant Was A Hoax!!!



Man Charged With Murder For Punching Newborn Son After Losing Video Game!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to an arrest slip, Anthony Trice was home alone watching the child when he was playing video games. Trice started losing the game and became frustrated, throwing the controller and the punching his son in the head.

After punching the infant, police said Trice picked him up to try to quiet him and while carrying him into the kitchen, dropped the child.

Later, Trice made his son a bottle, set him upright and left him unattended to go to the bathroom. When he came back, he noticed the baby was in distress and called 911.

The boy was taken to Norton Children’s Hospital where he later died.

First and foremost we at humanfuckery.com send our condolences to the ones who love this poor child! Unbelievable!! This fucktard deserves the death penalty for this fuckery, which could happen since Kentucky observes the death penalty.



Father Hits Daughter’s Face With Hammer Because She Couldn’t Find A Job After Graduation!!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to Utusan, a father from Perak used a steel hammer to hit his daughter’s face because she was jobless. The 58-year-old father was believed to be very dissatisfied with his daughter because she failed to find a job despite graduating with a bachelor’s degree.

At that time, the 24-year-old victim was reading the Quran when her father took out a steel hammer and started hitting his daughter. The father also banged his own head against the wall several times.

Because it’s soooo easy to land a job in the field you got your degree in right after graduation!!! We’re uncertain on the job placement rates after college graduation in Malaysia (this is where this fuckery happened) but here in the states according to a quick google search 40 percent of college graduates take positions out of school that don’t require a degree, according to 2018 study! We at humanfuckery.com wish this poor girl a speedy recovery, get well soon!



Son Didn’t Want A Bath, Dad Attempts To Run Him Over With Truck!!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to the report, the victim stated his father had asked him to take a bath numerous times and when he didn’t comply with his father, Riley threatened to spank him with a belt.

The victim did not wish for that to happen so he left the residence, at which time Riley climbed into his truck and started chasing him, according to the report.

We included the small excerpt from the article because the news clip above omitted the fact that this fuckery was over a BATH!!! Sorry, we can’t help but laugh at this fuckery!!

see also:Potential Candidate For Father Of The Year: Man Left His Autistic Children Outside For More Than 10 Hours On Cold Day!!



Man Left His 2 Autistic Children Outside For More Than 10 hours On Cold Day!!

None of this fuckery makes any fucking sense!! NONE OF IT!


Fuckery We Missed: Lucky Unicorn Nipples To Be Sold In Sex Shops In Vietnam!!! (6/15/2019)!!!

Lucky Unicorn Nipples For Sale In Vietnam!!

Excerpt From Article:

Danny, who lives in Larkfield, said: “Lucky Unicorn Nipples are up and running which is great news, albeit only in Vietnam for the time being.

“This is where I chose to manufacture the nips. The company is called Happy Toys in Ho Chi Minh City.”

So far, 5,000 pairs of the nipples, which are activated when you “flick ’em, rub ’em, suck ’em”, have been made and will sell for 148,248 Dong – the equivalent of £4.99.

This fuckery is crazy… but it’s crazy enough where this fuckery may sell like hot cakes!!


Today’s HumanFuckery: Woman In Wheelchair Fires Taser At McDonald’s Worker Because Food Was Taking Too Long!!(6/15/2019)

Woman In Wheelchair Shot Taser At Mcd’s Employees Because Food Was Taking Too Long!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to Wayne State University Police Chief Anthony Holt, it happened at the McDonald’s on Woodward near the campus of Wayne State around 5 p.m.

We’re told the woman was angry at the employee, saying she was being rude and that her food was taking too long. The taser missed the employee.

Officers arrived and said the woman was still angry, yelling at officers. Eventually, they were able to calm her down.

She was taken into custody but later released and refused any additional assistance from police getting to another location.

Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!!

For more Mcd’s fuckery please feel free to visit the see also links below!!

see also:California McDonald’s Manager Beaten, Choked by Woman Upset Over Missing Ketchup!!!

see also:McDonald’s Employee Stabbed Over Item Missing From Drive-Thru Order!!

see also:Woman’s Freakout Over McDonald’s Apple Pie Lands Her In Jail!!

see also:Video Shows Customer Throwing Hot Coffee at McDonald’s Worker!!

see also:McDonald’s Employee Beaten Up Over Broken Ice Cream Machine!!

see also:Woman Assaults Mcd’s Worker After Receiving Wrong Breakfast Sandwich!!!


Fuckery We Missed: Boy, 4, Takes Great-Grandfather’s SUV On Cruise For Candy!! (6/15/2019)

4 Year Old Steals Great Grandpa’s Car,Drives To Gas Station For Candy!!

Zero fucks were given that day by this 4 year old!! Thank god this kid didn’t injure himself or anyone else…

see also:11 Year Old Steals Mom’s Car, Leads Police On High Speed Chase — Again!!!

see also:8 Year Old Indiana Girl Steals Mom’s Jeep, Leads Police On Chase!!!

see also:Today’s HumanFuckery: 11 Year Old Boy In Canada Takes Family Van For Joyride (11/28/2016)

see also:Today’s HumanFuckery: 8 Year Old Drives 4 Year Old Sister To McDonald’s To Get A Cheeseburger!!


Today’s HumanFuckery: South Carolina Woman Driving Power Wheels Jeep Arrested For Arrested For Public Intoxication!!! (6/13/2019)

Woman Driving Power Wheels Jeep Arrested For Arrested For Public Intoxication!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A woman was pulled over Monday in Wahalla while driving a child’s Power Wheels truck, according to Wahalla Police Chief Sean Brinson.

Brinson said Megan Holman was pulled over on North Church Street after someone called authorities and asked them to check on a suspicious person.

He said Holman was under the influence of a narcotic.

She was arrested and charged with public intoxication, Brinson said.

He said the woman was about a mile from her house when she was arrested.

Honestly how did she even fit in that bitch, my kids have a bigger Power Wheels truck than the one she was driving around and I’ve attempted to drive that bitch and I couldn’t even fit inside!!

see also:Man Charged With DUI On Pink Bicycle Stolen From Little Girl!!


Today’s HumanFuckery: 16- Year-Old Killed Friend After Argument Over Video Game Controller!! (6/13/2019)

Teen Killed Over Video Game Controller!!

Unbelievable!! We at humanfuckery.com send our condolences to the ones who love this teen..

see also:9 Year Old Brother Fatally Shot 13 Year Old Sister In Head Over Video Game!!!

see also:Video-Gamer, 28, Kills Mom After Blaming Her For Broken Headset!!!!

see also:Potential Father Of The Year Candidate: Man Charged With Murder For Punching Newborn Son After Losing Video Game!!

see also: Illinois Man Fatally Beat 4 Year Old Who Spilled Juice On Xbox One!!


Today’s HumanFuckery: Tennessee Woman Accused Of Robbing Fiancé’s Home, Setting It On Fire 5 TIMES!! (6/12/2019)

Woman Robs Fiancé’s House, Sets It On Fire 5 Times!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A Hendersonville woman is accused of robbing her fiance’s home and then setting it on fire five times, with the final fire destroying the home and its remaining contents.

Tiffany Hummel, 48, was charged with theft and five counts of arson. She was taken into custody Monday in Smyrna.

Hendersonville police reported Hummel repeatedly set fire to the home on North Birchwood Drive over the course of two days in April.

Investigators said Hummel stole property belonging to her fiancé from the home prior to setting the fires.

Authorities have not released a possible motive and it is unclear if Hummel and her fiance still are engaged.

The statement says an investigation by city police and fire officials determined that Hummel purposely set the fires. It was not released how investigators connected Hummel to the blazes.

First and foremost we’re glad that no one was injured in this incident of fuckery!!

DAMN!!! What this man do to her??? One can assume that this woman’s craziness was possibly due to this man cheating?? One thing is for certain this woman is persistent!!