Today’s HumanFuckery: Prisoner Convicted Of Brutal Attempt To Steal Tobacco Hidden In Fellow Inmate’s Rectum Denied Break By Pa. Court!! (11/12/2019)

https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/11/prisoner-convicted-of-brutal-attempt-to-steal-tobacco-hidden-in-fellow-inmates-rectum-denied-break-by-pa-court.html

Excerpt From Article:

Wakefield, 26, of Hollidaysburg, and several cohorts knew the other prisoner had tobacco hidden in a plastic bag inside his rectum. So, they demanded that he give it to them, investigators said.

The other inmate tried to comply and pass the package naturally, Ott noted. When that didn’t work, his tormenters tried to remove it by force.

The tools they used were two toothbrushes, the judge wrote. That invasion only left the other inmate battered and bloody and didn’t succeed in freeing the tobacco.

When the inmate did finally pass the tobacco, he tossed it to his attackers. Then despite their threats, he told the police what had happened.
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That tobacco that was smuggled into this prison was worth its weight in gold due to the fact that tobacco is banned in prison which makes tobacco a highly sought out item that could be used to barter for things a prisoner would want.. .. One could say this man was diggin for booty in this man’s booty… Prison life sounds great jeez…

see also:Dozens Of Pencils, 7 Tweezers Found Inside Inmate’s Pussy!!

source:pennlive.com

Today’s HumanFuckery: Florida Woman Accused of Setting Cheating Boyfriend’s Home On Fire!!(11/12/2019)

Florida Woman Sets Unfaithful Boyfriend’s House ON FIRE!!

Excerpt From Article:

The report says neighbors told firefighters that Moore had borrowed a water bottle of gasoline from them earlier in the day. They told firefighters that they watched Moore climb over a fence into the home’s backyard and try to remove a window screen. It says the neighbors later saw Moore leave the backyard with an empty water bottle.

Moore was arrested last week and charged with first-degree arson.
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We get you’re mad but really??? SMH.. There’s nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

For more fucktards setting house fires for stupid reasons please feel free to visit the see also links below!!

see also:Girlfriend Sent Home In Taxi After Threesome Admits To Police She Set Boyfriend’s House On Fire!!!

see also:Washington Man Sets House On Fire , Blames It On Brother Who Farted In His Face A Decade Ago!!!

see also:Woman Stood Up After Late Night Call For Sex Tried To Kill Man By Torching His House!!!

see also:Man Attempts To Burn Down Ex’s House By Using Cheetos!

see also:Son Sets Mother’s Home Ablaze Over Cheez-Its!!! (2/13/2019)

source:nbcmiami.com

Fuckery We Missed: Man Calls 911 To Report Stolen Weed, Winds Up Getting Arrested Instead!! (11/11/2019)

Man Calls 911 Because His Weed Was Stolen!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A 21-year-old man is accused of calling 911 after his marijuana had allegedly been stolen while at a gas station.

According to the Dekalb County Sheriff’s Office, dispatchers received the bizarre call last week.

Officers from the local police department, along with deputies, responded to the scene where they met Dante Bellamoli.

Upon further investigation, they found him to be in possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia.

“It probably wasn’t the best decision for this individual to choose to report stolen marijuana, but we were happy to investigate it for him,” said Sheriff Nick Weldon in a press release.

Bellamoli was arrested and is now charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.
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Two things in this incident of fuckery: (1).You’ve gotta be a certain type of stupid if you elect to call 911 to report your weed was stolen (this guy isn’t the only one to do this fuckery view the see also below) and (2) knowingly calling the authorities when you are in possession of other drugs besides the weed you reported stolen makes this man the epitome of human fuckery!!

see also: Florida Man Calls 911 Several Times To Report Roommate ‘Stole His Weed’!!!

source:fox8.com

Fuckery We Missed: Man Stabbed Himself 10 Times After Woman Refused To Become More Than Friends!! (11/10/2019)

Man Goes Crazy After Woman Says She Doesn’t Wanna Be More Than Friends!!

Excerpt From Article:

The victim indicated she met Sidebottom through work, and in November 2018, he asked to become more than friends. She declined, and by April, texts from Sidebottom had escalated, with Sidebottom threatening to harm himself in front of her, a criminal complaint said. The victim did not respond.

According to the complaint, Sidebottom “promised she would watch him die,” and he would “not allow her to forget what you did.”

On Oct. 26, prosecutors said Sidebottom showed up at her home and stabbed himself in the wrist approximately 10 times.

He then contacted her on Nov.4, and said, “Let’s hope tomorrow something good happens, otherwise I’m gonna pay you one last visit and we can test if you’ll really stop me or not.”
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We truly feel sorry for women who have to deal with fuckery like this!! There’s so many men out there who just can’t take the hint that a woman isn’t interested!! To be honest with this approach this psychopathic fucktard will off himself soon… We at humanfuckery.com hope that this man gets the psychiatric care he truly needs!

source:fox6now.com

Fuckery We Missed: Florida Woman Brings Meth Into Court, Tells Deputy It’s Makeup!! (11/9/2019)! (11/9/2019!

It’s Not Meth, It’s Make Up!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to the report, Schrider asked Lilly to empty her pockets. When she pulled out a plastic baggie, she said it was makeup used for skin treatment, the report states, but Schrider thought the substance might be narcotics. Detectives tested the substance and it tested positive for methamphetamine and weighed 1.44 grams, according to the FCSO.
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Like we always say ladies and gentleman: DONT DO METH!!!

see also:Woman Tells Police Meth Shards Found In Purse Are ‘Healing Crystals’!!!

see also:Pennsylvania Man Reportedly Tells Cops ‘I’ve Been Doing Meth And Masturbating All Day, And It Feels Great!!

see also:Nude Man In Chicken Coop Arrested After Doing ‘Way Too Much Meth’!!!

see also:‘I Know It Looks Like A Meth Lab, But It’s Really Not,’ Lincoln County Suspect Tells Deputies!!

source:news4jax.com

Today’s HumanFuckery: Florida Man Has Surgery To Remove Screwdriver From Rectum!!! (11/7/2019)

Florida Man Has Screwdriver Removed From His ASS!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to the report, the man, who suffers from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, entered the operation room in septic shock, complaining of week-long abdominal and pelvic pain.

Doctors performed a CT scan of the man’s abdominal area and found what appeared to be a screwdriver. The tool appeared to have pierced part of his large intestine.

Doctors originally attempted to remove the screwdriver without surgery, but were unsuccessful due to large amounts of blood and hard feces.

The doctors then turned to surgery to remove the foreign object. After opening the man up, they noticed the screwdriver had pierced through the large intestine and dug itself into the buttock muscle
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Why Florida Man… WHY!!! Honestly if one knew that a screwdriver was stuck in one’s ass you’d think that they wouldn’t wait 2 weeks to go to the doctor…BUT.. this man was obviously embarrassed by this fuckery, anyone would be. To be honest this man probably though ” oh it will just come out eventually when I shit” instead of going to the hospital ASAP!! SMH

see also:Chinese Man Gets Dick Stuck In Wrench For 17 Hours!!

see also:WTF China!!!!! Two Extreme Cases Of Insertion Of A Foreign Object!!!

see also:Man Gets Glade Air Freshener Stuck Up His Ass After ”Sex Game Gone Wrong”!!

source:wfla.com

Fuckery We Missed: Nude Man In Chicken Coop Arrested After Doing ‘Way Too Much Meth’!!! (11/6/2019)

“Way Too Much Meth”

Excerpt From Article:

When officers arrived at 1204 West Olive Street, they found Falls, still naked, attempting to clean the coop’s floor with his hands.

Police spoke to the homeowner, who said he did not know the man and did not want him in the chicken coop. When the man arrived on the scene, he turned over a few plants on the porch before heading to the coop.

Officers examined Falls and noted dilated pupils and erratic, jerky body movements. When they interviewed him, he admitted that he had done “way too much meth” and then attempted to have a conversation with the door of his vehicle.
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We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again… Ladies and gentleman: DONT DO METH!!!

see also:Brothers Saved Meth Equipment In Fire, Left Their Grandmother To Die!!!

see also:Arkansas Woman Arrested On Drug Charges; Told Police Her Brother Fed Her Meth Sandwich!!

see also:Woman Accused Of Serving Coworkers Meth-Laced Bean Dip!!!

see also:Man Severely Injured After Holding Lit Stick Of Dynamite While On Meth!!!

source:newsweek.com

Today’s HumanFuckery: Man Holding AR-15 Says ‘Coming To A School Near You’ In Snapchat Post!!! (11/6/2019)

‘Coming To A School Near You’!!!

Excerpt From Article:

The photo showed him wearing a long trench coat, combat boots and a mask along with the semi-automatic rifle. A man who saw the post reported it to police and said he had never seen Mauer act like that before, but that he had recently returned from deployment overseas.

Police contacted Mauer who admitted he had posted the picture. He said it was a joke and was part of his Halloween costume, according to the criminal complaint.
When police asked him what his costume was, Mauer said he wasn’t sure. The responding deputy explained that given the recent rise in mass shootings, the situation was serious, and Mauer laughed and didn’t take the situation seriously, according to the complaint.
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When will people learn that any type of threat of a shooting being made on social media “joking” or not will probably end with the person making this threat arrested and investigated? SMH…

It’s apparent that this man gave zero fucks about this fuckery, look at his smile in his mugshot..

see also:More Fucktards Making Terrorist Threats!!!

source:tmj4.com

Today’s HumanFuckery: Man Stabbed To Death At Maryland Popeyes, Fight Linked To Chicken Sandwich!!

Man Stabbed Over Popeyes Chicken Sandwich!!!

Unbelievable!! These sandwiches have made their return to Popeye’s stores just a few days ago and we’ve already have fuckery poppin off like this!! This can’t be life !! We at humanfuckery.com send our condolences to the ones who love the victim, we’re truly sadden that this man lost his life over a chicken sandwich..

see also:Man Pulls Gun On Popeyes Employees After Learning They’re Out Of Chicken Sandwiches!!

see also:Man Pulls Gun On Popeyes Manager Over Condiment Conflict!!

see also:Woman Smashes Window at NYC Popeyes Because $4 Wicked Good Deal Doesn’t Come With Soda!!!

source:nbcnews.com