Today’s HumanFuckery: Man Arrested After Repeatedly Calling 911 About Restaurant’s Small Clams!! (12/27/2017)

Man Calls 911 Because Restaurants Clams Were Too Small!!

This isn’t the first time we’ve covered 911 calls about food… The thing that’s great about this particular incident of fuckery is that we have audio of the actual call!!! We honestly wish we had audio of the incidents in the see also links below!!!

see also:Woman Called 911 To Complain That Her Chicken Nuggets Weren’t Cooked Fast Enough!!

see also:Man Calls 911 For A Ride To Hooters!!!

source:king5.com

Fuckery We Missed While On Break: Colorado Teen Fatally Stabbed Stepdad, Posted Snapchat Video Of Him Dying!!! (12/27/2017)

Stepfather’s Death Broadcast On Snapchat!!1

We at humanfuckery.com would like to send our condolences to the ones who truly loved this man.. How could one have callously murder their stepdad and without any remorse pull out their phone and start Snapchatting their actions.. What a fucking time we live in!!!

source:denverpost.com

Repost: “No, Bro. I’m Trying To Fuck”!! Couple Refuses To Stop Having Sex When Cop Catches Them!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 10/4/2017)

He Said The Officer Was “Cock-Blocking Him” And “Giving Him Blue Balls.”

Excerpt From Article:

The officer told him “several more times” to get dressed, and the man eventually got out of the car, still naked.

“You’re a man, you should understand,” the man told the officer. He said the officer was “c***-blocking him” and “giving him blue balls.” When the officer again told the man to put on some pants, he said “It’s just a d**k, nothing to be afraid of.”

His partner, 20-year-old Emily Scott, told the officer they didn’t stop when asked because “he wanted to finish.”
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This is human fuckery at its finest folks!!!

source:miamiherald.com

Repost: Connecticut Man Pleads Guilty To Fucking His Dead Girlfriend Who Overdosed On Heroin!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 12/7/2017)

Man Fucks Dead Girlfriend Who Overdosed!

Excerpt From Article:

The case began in January, when Willimantic police received a 911 call about an unresponsive woman. Officers arrived and found heroin and needles near the woman and tried without success to revive her. A medical examiner would later tell police the woman was dead before anyone called 911.

The woman was Graser’s girlfriend, and a detective began to question him as others examined the scene inside the apartment. A detective spotted ligature marks on the woman’s wrists and ankles. And Graser wondered aloud to a detective whether they suspected his arrest months earlier for choking the woman could be relevant.

So Graser began to talk. He told detectives he found his girlfriend, unresponsive and tried to wake her up. She was sitting and hunched over on their bed, and heroin and drug paraphernalia were on her lap.

“Aaron stated that he laid the victim down the bed and he rubbed her sternum,” according to the warrant for his arrest. “Aaron stated he listened to see if the victim was breathing and he heard gurgling. Aaron stated he knew the victim hated having sex with him so he figured that the victim might wake up if he had sex with her.”

Questioned further, Graser admitted to detectives that he tied the woman’s ankles and wrists to bed posts “because it was a fetish of his.” After he finished, he untied her, put her pants on and called in his neighbor, a former paramedic who later told police she believed the woman had been dead for a couple of hours.

An autopsy determined that the woman was dead when Graser had sex with her.
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This is some sick sad shit here!!Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

source:courant.com

Repost: KC Detective Ends Interview After Suspect Answers Question With ‘Loud Fart’!!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 11/7/2017)

Loud Farts Stop Police Investigation!!
Excerpt From Article:

The charges stem from Kansas City police traffic stops on Sept. 1 and Nov. 5, according to court documents.

On Sept. 1, Sykes was in a car that police searched and found a backpack that contained various drugs and two handguns. One of the guns, a .357 Magnum, had been reported stolen out of a car in Independence a few days earlier, according to the documents.

While being questioned, Sykes denied knowing anything about the guns and drugs.

In his report about the interview, the detective wrote that when asked about his address, “Mr. Sykes leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering with the address.”

“Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview,” the detective wrote.

Charges were not filed at that time.
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Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

(UPDATE 10/23/2018: This Man Pleads Guilty!!

source:kansascity.com

Repost: Man Who Attempted to Rob a Bank in Blackface Arrested!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 11/11/2017)

Man In Blackface Attempts To Rob Bank!!

Nice try bud!!!

source:complex.com

Repost: Woman Sentenced To House Arrest After Ripping Man’s Testicle Out With Her Teeth!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 12/7/2017)

Woman Ripped Of Man’s Testicle With Her Teeth!!

Excerpt From Article:

She claimed she had been acting in self defence, but was convicted of assault.
Del Viscio has been placed on a restriction of liberty order for six months, which means she must stay at home between 22:00 and 06:00.
Appearing for sentence at Edinburgh Sheriff Court, she was also ordered to pay her victim £500 compensation.

Del Viscio, Mr Palma and two other people met in a nightclub after work. They had been drinking, and Del Viscio admitted to having taken drugs.
When the nightclub closed, all four went to Mr Palma’s flat in a taxi.
Mr Palma told the court that in the early hours of the morning, Del Viscio had begun “destroying” one of the bedrooms.
He said he told her to calm down and leave, but during the argument she bit his left testicle.

He said he tried to stop the flow of blood with a towel and called for an ambulance.
He was taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, where his testicle was put back into the scrotum and he was given 15 stitches.
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Yikes…. We’ve come across our fair share of horror stories involving male genitalia i.e. genitalia being cut off, snapped by hand, ect ect…BUT… We think someone using their teeth to rip out a man’s ball is a first for our site!

see also:Man Who Had Dick Chopped Off By Woman With Pruning Shears Claims It Was ‘Sex Game Gone Wrong’!!

see also:South Korean Wife ‘Hacked Off Her Husband’s Dick And Flushed It Down The Toilet Because He Spent Too Much Time Golfing!!

see also:Woman Attempts To Break Husband’s Dick Off With Her Bare Hands!!

source:bbc.com

Repost: Suspect Admits To Doing Meth And Throwing Rocks At Cars Believing ‘The Purge’ Was Happening!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 8/15/2017)

The Purge

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the flick, The Purge is a movie where all criminal acts are completely legal for 12 hours! This man’s trip will be one he will surely never forget!!!

source:fox4kc.com

Repost: Florida Man Accused Of Punching And Pistol Whipping Woman Over KFC!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 12/10/2017)

Pistol Whipped Over KFC!!!

Excerpt From Article:

Deputies said the victim was limping and suffered multiple bruises and red scratches. The victim said Shuler fled the home after they began arguing about her driving him to KFC. Fearing for her safety, she then locked herself in the home, and while she was lying in bed Shuler allegedly kicked down the door, jumped on top of her and attacked her, according to the arrest report.

As Shuler was punching her, the victim said she grabbed her purse and tried to retrieve her loaded revolver but Shuler took the gun out of the bag and hit her on the head with it.
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Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

source:palmbeachpost.com

Repost: Mcds Drive-Thru Passenger Pulls Out Replica AR-15 Rifle Because The Ice Cream machine Wasn’t Working!!! (12/24/2017)

(Originally Posted 8/17/2017)

Ice Cream Machine Not Working!!!

We all think it’s time for Mcds to replace all their ice cream machines, it seems as if they are never working!!!! Nothing much more to be said about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself

See also: More Mcds Fuckery

source:local10.com