Today’s HumanFuckery: Connecticut State Police Solve Mystery Of Chronic Shitter Who Shit In Neighborhood Cul-De-Sac!!! (2/14/2018)

Another Chronic Shitter!!

Due To Articles Length We’ve Decided To Repost:

Troopers have charged Holly E. Malone, 43, of Simsbury, with second-degree breach of peace. State police said Tuesday that Malone could not make it to her destination or a bathroom.

The investigation was spurred when the first selectman reached out to Trooper Sean Mahar to say that feces was found in the cul-de-sac on Nov. 6 of last year. They did some testing and determined it was, in fact, human excrement.

Tiolet paper was also found at the scene.

Nine days passed, and troopers again found some feces in the roadway. So they set up a motion-activated camera to catch the culprit, they said.

On Dec. 5, state police said even more feces was found, so they downloaded the video from the camera and spotted the suspect’s car.

Troopers spoke to Malone, who admitted to the incidents. She was taken into custody Tuesday during a routine traffic stop.

The incidents under investigation by troopers happened more than 3 miles from Malone’s Simsbury home.

Nothing to see here… just another sick fuck shitting in public for god knows why… For more incidents of fuckery like this please feel free to view the see also links below!!

see also:“Mad Pooper” Wanted In Colorado!!

see also:“Shit Bandit” Strikes In Arkansas!!!

see also:Delivery Driver For Amazon Caught On Camera Shitting In Man’s Driveway!!!

Today’s HumanFuckery: Experts Warn Against Home Remedies After Mom Allegedly Feeds Child Hydrochloric Acid, Chlorine To Cure Autism!!! (2/13/2018)

Does Bleach Cure Autism?

We could only imagine how frustrating and how much of a challenge it would be having a child who is dealing with autism, but…. C’mon people… You know bleach isn’t a cure all for this. When we first came across a story dealing with bleach and autism we thought “you’ve gotta be kidding me” “WHO WOULD DO THIS”.. Welp it’s 2018 and we’re still covering fuckery like this!!!

see also:Parents Attempt To Cure Autism By Using Bleach??

Today’s HumanFuckery: Florida Parents Arrested After Toddler Swallows Morphine!!! (2/13/2018)

Toddler Swallows Morphine!!!

Excerpt Of Article:

Paramedics were called to the child’s home on Barber Road about 11 a.m. Saturday after the mother returned to find the child under the influence of drugs, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

The 1-year-old was taken to Ed Fraser Memorial Hospital for treatment, deputies said. The child has since been released from the hospital.

The Department of Children and Families removed the child from the home and placed him with a relative following his parents’ arrests, Sheriff Scotty Rhoden told News4Jax.

“As bad as it is, this one actually turned out well because the child is safe now,” Rhoden said.

Deputies learned that the toddler was left with the child’s father, 29-year-old Seth Shane Baker, Friday while the mother, 32-year-old Crystal Ann Baker, partied with her boyfriend, who is the father’s brother, according to an arrest report.

When the couple returned at 10:30 a.m. Saturday, Seth Baker answered the door in a stupor, the arrest report stated. His brother, Jeremy, stated the child was walking around the house clumsily and bumping into furniture.

It was then that the couple noticed the child had a blue substance around his mouth, something his father suggested may have been the resulting of eating morphine pills, according to the report. He said some of the pills he kept in a cigarette pack looked chewed on.

Seth Baker, who initially left the home to avoid arrest for an outstanding restraining order violation, was taken into custody after authorities found him hiding in a camper in the back yard, deputies said.

Deputies later went to the hospital to serve an arrest warrant for theft on the child’s mother. They soon found that she had run off and abandoned the child, leaving the toddler in the care of hospital staff.

Crystal Baker was later located at the Red Roof Inn in Macclenny, where deputies said she tried again to escape on foot. They ultimately chased her down and captured her in the motel lobby.

“As bad as it is, this one actually turned out well because the child is safe now,” this quote is very profound in this case.. This poor kid had to chomp on some morphine to become “safe”… this cant be life!!!!

Today’s HumanFuckery: Woman Claims To Be ‘Mother Mary’ After High-Speed Chase!!! (2/12/2018)

Mother Mary Stopped After High Speed Chase!!!

Excerpt From Article:

According to the citation, Connie Lynn Allen, 52, of Goodlettsville, Ten­nessee, was observed traveling at a high rate of speed near the 92-mile marker on northbound I-65. The driver passed an unmarked KSP vehicle then cut across into the emergency lane to pass other vehicles.

The trooper began pursuing Allen in his unmarked vehicle, which was equipped with flashing blue and white lights and a siren. Allen reached speeds of 120 mph or more, according to police.

The citation says she refused to pull over or stop while driving in a dangerous manner. Another KSP trooper, in a marked cruiser, joined the pursuit near the 105-mile marker of I-65.

The troopers eventually were able to pull in front of the vehicle near the 107-mile marker, bringing her to a stop.

A trooper drew his weapon, telling Allen to show her hands. When she refused to exit the vehicle, the trooper broke the driver’s side window. Allen then exited the vehicle, according to the citation.

Allen told troopers she was en route to pick up baby Jesus and she was Mother Mary, according to police. She also said she had died six years ago and knew police were behind her, but she had authority from God to drive the way she did, the citation says.

All we wanna know is what drugs this bitch was on, we’re gonna guess she was on METH!!!!

see also:Tennessee Man Truck Flips 5 Times After “Jesus Advised Him To Let Go Of The Wheel”!!

Fuckery We Missed: Deputies Arrest 84 Year Old Woman Who Shot At Neighbor’s ‘Noisy’ Children!!! (2/12/2018)

84 Year Old Woman Shoots At “Noisy” Children Playing!!
Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

An 84-year-old woman who shot toward her neighbor’s children Friday evening in Anderson was arrested, deputies with the Shasta County Sheriff’s Office said.

Deputies arrested Betty Frances Sanders who complained that her neighbor’s three children, who were between the ages of 8 and 10 years old, were being too noisy by riding their motorcycles at their Anderson home located in the 16000 block of Dot Lane.

The children’s mother, Angela Rollins, told deputies that she was in her front yard with her husband and three children when Sanders and her husband approached the fence that separates the two properties. Sanders complained about Rollins’ children being noisy as they rode their motorcycles. Deputies said it escalated into an argument, and Sanders fired a shot from her handgun toward Rollins and her family, who were about 20 feet away.

When deputies arrived, they interviewed Sanders about the incident and found the handgun she’d used on her neighbors.

No one was injured during the incident, deputies said.

Sanders was arrested on suspicion of assault with a firearm and child endangerment. She was taken to Shasta County Jail where her bail was set at $50,000.

I honestly despise getting old!!! Why you ask??? There just becomes a switch that flips mentally where you just become crotchety about everything… Everything starts to irk you, you become pessimistic, and quite frankly you let everyone know how much you hate life and how life sucks… This story is epitome of everything aforementioned above!!!