Fuckery We Missed: Tennessee Man Run Over By Lawn Mower While Trying To Kill Son With Chainsaw!!! (10/14/2018)

Father Attempts To Kill Son With Chainsaw…. Is Ran Over By Lawn Mower!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

The Bristol Herald Courier reports that a warrant for 76-year-old Douglas Ferguson couldn’t be served until Tuesday because of the severity of his injuries.

According to a Sullivan County Sheriff’s Office release, officers called to a home June 28 found Ferguson bleeding from his leg and head. A preliminary investigation indicated he had tried to attack his son with a running chain saw while he son mowed the yard.

Detectives say the father and son had an ongoing feud.

Ferguson is charged with attempted second-degree murder and violating probation. It’s unclear whether he has a lawyer to comment on his behalf.

We bet this man shouted “I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, I CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!!” before his attack.. We at humanfuckery.com wish all parties involved a speedy recovery.. Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

see also:Man Attacks Wife With Hatchet Then Proceeds To Kill Self With Chainsaw!!!

see also:20 Year Old Florida Man Randomly Attacks 64 Year Old Woman With Chainsaw!!

see also:Russian Teen Uses Chainsaw To Saw Off Own Head After Losing At Video Game!!


Fuckery We Missed: South Carolina Man Shot 17 Year Old Cousin For Eating His Salt And Vinegar Potato Chips!!! (10/13/2018)

Cousin Shot Over Salt And Vinegar Potato Chips!

Excerpt From Article:

He told deputies that his cousin had accidentally shot himself by dropping a hunting rifle while cleaning it, the agency said in a statement.

The cousin confirmed the account in a brief statement to deputies before being rushed into life-saving surgery and eventually to a Charleston-area hospital for more treatment.

But the evidence didn’t line up with that story, sheriff’s Maj. J.W. Chapman said.

“We knew from the beginning that something wasn’t right,” he said. “The more we looked into it, the more it seemed odd.”

The pathway the bullet had taken through the victim’s chest was “impossible” if the victim had mistakenly shot himself, Chapman said.

And when the victim woke up a week later at Trident Medical Center in North Charleston, he told investigators potato chips were at the center of a dispute that prompted Langdale to purposefully shoot him, Chapman said.

“Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” Langdale said, according to the victim’s account in a sheriff’s incident report.

Here we go again with somebody getting shot by someone over a food item… SMH… We at humanfuckery.com wish the victim a speedy recovery! For more incidents of fuckery involving people being shot over food feel free to view the see also links below!

see also:Man Shot During Argument Over Slim Jim At North Houston Gas Station!!

see also:Mississippi Man Shot Over Peach Cobbler!!

see also:Teen Shot And Killed By Brother After An Argument Over A Honey Bun!!

see also:“I Just Snapped” Man Shot 8 Times Over Hot Pockets!

see also:Woman Shot Boyfriend Over Cold Taco!!

see also:Woman Who Shot Her Husband Over A Burnt Casserole!!


Fuckery We Missed: Woman Pulls Crack Pipe Out Of ASS While In Police Custody!! (10/13/2018)

Woman Pulls Crack Pipe Out Of Ass During Booking!!

Excerpt From Article:

A man reported being in his apartment and hearing commotion. The man went outside and saw two women fighting.

He heard a woman identified as Tooley say “the police were coming.”

Next, he said Tooley lowered her shorts and “insert(ed) something inside of her,” the affidavit states.

It wasn’t immediately clear whether her shorts had pockets.

Tooley told police she was talking to a friend upstairs when another person came upstairs. She said they argued and tussled.

Tooley was arrested and taken to the Martin County Jail, where investigators say she “removed a glass cylindrical object from inside of her … and turned it over to (a sergeant),” an affidavit states.

The pipe had burn marks, and was identified by police as a crack cocaine smoking device.

Here we go again with more incidents of fuckery involving people hiding things (mainly drugs and paraphernalia) in their orifices… Check out the see also links below for more fuckery!

see also:Florida Woman Caught Stealing From Walmart, Smokes Crack In Squad Car, Hides Pipe & Drugs In Pussy!!

see also:Florida Woman Who Smoked Crack From Tire Gauge Attempted To Hide “Pipe” From Authorities In Her “Uterus”!!

see also:Woman Found With Gun Inside Of PUSSY During Strip Search Pleads Guilty!!

see also:Authorities Find Pipe, Three Bags Of Drugs, And A Box Inside Florida Woman’s Pussy!!

see also:3 Syringes, $20 Bill, And Pill Found In Arkansas Woman’s Pussy!!

see also:Pennsylvania Drug Dealer Hides 110 Heroin Bags In His Ass!!


Today’s HumanFuckery: Missouri Man Set Own House On Fire Because His Ex-Wife Is Dating A Firefighter

Man Sets Own House On Fire Because Ex-Wife Is Dating Firefighter!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

Police say vengeance for a past relationship drove a Republic man to light his own home on fire, grab a rifle, stand outside and wait.

The target? Allegedly a Republic firefighter.

Police say Jason Hawkins, 35, had once been married to a woman who was then dating a firefighter.

“My business is with (the firefighter),” Hawkins allegedly told police.

According to court documents used to charge Hawkins with two felonies and a misdemeanor — arson, unlawful use of a weapon and resisting arrest — Hawkins admitted to setting the fire himself.

He allegedly said he filled a “spray bottle with gas and oil” to douse his home on West Mill Street with accelerant on July 7.

However, the mixture was too thick to spritz, court documents say, so Hawkins unscrewed the top, poured the mixture on the floor and lit it.

When authorities responded to the home, which was fully engulfed in flames, Hawkins initially ignored the commands of officers to drop his rifle, according to court documents.

He eventually threw the rifle on the ground, documents say, and struggled with officers who tried to arrest him.

At one point, Hawkins allegedly grabbed for a gun in an officer’s holster.

Hawkins does not have an attorney listed in online court records.

He has been held in the Greene County Jail since his arrest on July 7, according to the jail roster. Charges were refiled against him this week.

Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!!


Fuckery We Missed: North Dakota Man Tracked, Stabbed Woman Because ‘She Was A Witch And He Had To Slay Her!!! (10/13/2018)

Man Attacks Woman Who He Believes Is A Witch!!

Excerpt From Article:

Akmal Rashidovich Azizov, 20, could spend up to 20 years in prison if convicted on the Class A felony attempted murder charge. He’s being held without bond because he told police he would try to kill the victim again if released, Assistant State’s Attorney Haley Wamstad said.

Court documents allege Azizov told police he spent three weeks stalking and plotting to kill a woman he knew because he believed she was “the cause of all the stress and negativity in his life.” He allegedly stabbed her Sept. 5 outside her apartment.

Azizov told Detective Ronald Gibbs the woman “was a witch and had cursed him and he needed to slay her,” the Grand Forks officer said Wednesday during a pretrial hearing.

This article goes into great detail about the lengths this man went to carry out this plot, if you have some spare time we’d suggest you check out this whole article!


#TBT Fuckery: Bronx Man Cuts Off Lovers Dick With Intentions On Eating It!! (10/11/2018)

(Originally Posted 12/5/2016)


Man Planned To Eat Lovers Dick

Due To Severity Of Crime We’ve Decided To Repost:

A homeless man admitted to cops he hacked off his lover’s penis and intended to eat it after brutally killing him in his Bronx home, police said on Sunday.

Jerry Pagan, 32, told police he confronted the 68-year-old victim whose name was being withheld pending family notification, at his Sheridan Ave. apartment in Claremont on Friday, police said.

Pagan said he was enraged over an incident that occurred while the two had unprotected but consensual sex last week.

The two began to talk about the incident but the discussion devolved into gruesome violence when Pagan took a hammer and bludgeoned the older man over the head, he told police.

He then grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the man several times before cutting off his penis with a razor blade.

Pagan spent the next day at his victim’s home with his corpse, leaving and returning at least once in the interim.

Police arrested Pagan on Saturday after they responded to a report for an assault at the victim’s home around 8:30 p.m.

Investigators discovered the victim’s battered body in the bathtub and his penis placed in a plastic bag and left in the sink, sources said.

Despite conceding details of the killing to police, Pagan played dumb with reports as detectives marched him out of the 44th Precinct stationhouse Sunday evening.

When asked why he did it, Pagan replied “did what?”

Pagan initially flashed a little smirk to the television cameras but the grin faded with each step as he shuffled towards an awaiting patrol car.

He was awaiting arraignment for murder Sunday evening

WELL… I don’t have to much to say on this one, except this! This story should take the award in the category of: Craziest Fuckery Involving a Dick in our humanfuckery.com end of the year awards!


Today’s HumanFuckery: South Dakota Man High On Meth Bathes In Holy Water Before Masturbating During Church!!! (10/11/2018)

South Dakota Man Has Bad Trip On Meth Inside Church!

Excerpt From Article:

A 21-year-old man allegedly high on drugs crashed a North Dakota church service on Tuesday morning and stripped off.

Police allege Zachary Burdick had methamphetamine in his system when he entered the Spirit of Life Church about 9am.

There, he took off his clothes, bathed in holy water and walked down the aisle touching himself.

The wannabe rap star had been at the church earlier, police say, and was asked to leave after trying to bless people and hand out the Book of Mormon.


We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again… Ladies and Gentleman…. DON’T DO METH!!!

see also:Woman In South Carolina Found Holding Her Eyeballs Outside Of Church!!

see also:Louisiana Man Says Ghost Planted Meth On Him After He Was Attacked With Axe!!

see also:Florida Man Has ‘Bad Reaction’ To Meth, Asks Cops To Test Meth For Him!!


Fuckery We Missed: Florida Man Sets Fire To McDonald’s Bathroom!! (10/11/2018)

Florida Man Sets Fire To McDonald’s Bathroom

Due To The Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A Florahome man was arrested in Gainesville early Monday after police say he set fire to a bathroom at the McDonald’s on West University Avenue.

No one was injured and the restaurant remained open.

John Anthony Hernandez-Ramos, 27, was charged with arson.

Hernandez-Ramos told Gainesville police that close to midnight he went to a Circle K gas station, 1255 W. University Ave., and purchased $0.69 worth of gas, putting it into an empty soda bottle, according to an arrest report.

He then went into the McDonald’s at 1206 W. University Ave., poured the gasoline on the floor and in the trash can, the report says. Then he ignited a handful of tissues and threw them on the gas.

Police said Hernandez-Ramos then ran out of the McDonald’s. There were several people inside the restaurant at the time.

About 30 minutes later, a witness who saw Hernandez-Ramos running away asked what he had done, according to police. He told the witness, “You know what I did? I lit the bathroom on fire.”

He was booked into the Alachua County jail. Police have not given a motive for the arson.

This fuckery is just Florida Man being Florida Man!!! Nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!!