Today’s Fuckery

(4/20/2019)

Florida Man Hides Drugs In His Butt Crack!

Excerpt From Article:

“I have some stuff in my ass crack, I will get it,” 23-year-old Matthew Nero told deputies after they told him if they found any other drugs on him, he’d get additional charges. “I don’t want you reaching in there.”

Nero was arrested for possession of heroin, possession of cocaine, possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
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There’s nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!! Its been a while since we’ve had a post about a person hiding drug/drug paraphernalia in their orifices to view similar incidents of fuckery feel free to visit the see also links below!!

see also:Woman Pulls Crack Pipe Out Of ASS While In Police Custody!

see also: Authorities Finds Pipe, Three Bags Of Drugs, And A Box Inside Florida Woman’s Pussy!

see also:Florida Man Denies Syringes Found In His ASS!!

see also:Florida Woman Found With Baggies Containing Pills Inside Her ASS After DUI Arrest!

see also:Crack Pipe Found In Florida Woman’s Groin!!

see also:Woman Found With Gun Inside Of PUSSY During Strip Search Pleads Guilty!!!

see also:Police Recover Two Hypodermic Needles And A Crack Pipe From Woman’s Butt Crack!!!

source:nbc-2.com

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Nashville Man Body Slams Woman Because She Unplugged His PlayStation!!

Due To The Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A Nashville man has been charged with domestic assault after someone unplugged his PlayStation, according to police.

Police said Joshua Stone got into an argument with the victim while playing video games. He told officers the woman unplugged the PlayStation, so he body-slammed her.

The woman suffered injuries to her head.
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Bet he was winning whatever game he was playing too!!

see also:Indiana State Trooper Shot By 11 Year Old Son Because Video Games Were Taken Away!!!

see also: 5 Month Old Boy Drowns In Bathtub While Father Played Video Games!!!

see also:Texas Father Sliced 20 Year Old Son With Katana For ‘Playing Video Games All Day Long’!!!

see also:Video-Gamer, 28, Kills Mom After Blaming Her For Broken Headset!!!!

see also:9 Year Old Brother Fatally Shot 13 Year Old Sister In Head Over Video Game!!!

see also:Illinois Man Fatally Beat 4 Year Old Who Spilled Juice On Xbox One!!

source:wsmv.com

In observance of 4/20 we’ve decided to repost some of our favorite weed post:

Florida Man Attempts To Trade Weed For McDonald’s!!

Due To Length Of Article We’ve Decided To Repost:

A man is in jail after police say he tried to trade marijuana for food from McDonald’s in Port St. Lucie.

According to police, the incident happened on Sunday at 2 a.m. at the McDonald’s drive-thru near 3100 SW Port St. Lucie Boulevard.

Police say 23-year-old Anthony Gallagher drove his Pontiac four-door car through the drive-thru line and tried to exchange the marijuana but the McDonald’s employee refused. Gallagher then drove away.

Once police arrived to the scene they took the man’s description down and waited for a while. Gallagher came back to the McDonald’s drive-thru, and police said they noticed a heavy odor of marijuana from the car.

According to police, they found 11 grams of marijuana on Gallagher, and he told police he did offer the employee marijuana but as a joke.

Gallagher faces charges of possession of marijuana under 20 grams and DUI.
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This must be a Florida thing, just a few days back some fucktard attempted to trade weed for a hot dog at a convenience store.. For more interesting trades involving Mcd’s feel free to view the see also links below!

see also:Florida Prostitute Offers Undercover Cop A Blowjob For $25 And McNuggets!!

see also:Man Attempts To Pay Hooker With Quarter Pounder With Cheese Value Meal From Mcd’s!!

source:cbs12.com
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Utah Woman Asks To “Smoke A Bowl” Before Going To Jail For Being Drunk On Mouthwash!

Excerpt From Article:

Police say 20-year-old Francesca Delfina Farias-Swenson was drinking mouthwash to get drunk when she called her boyfriend to pick her up and take her up Provo Canyon.

While driving, police say Farias-Swenson got angry with her boyfriend and started kicking the windows of his car, damaging at least one window.

Farias-Swenson’s boyfriend decided to take Farias-Swenson to her parent’s house, but when they arrived, police say she started kicking the windows again, and her parents would not let her inside.

Police were called and found Farias-Swenson walking down a road with her feet bleeding from the broken window glass.

She had a bottle of mouthwash with her and told cops she had been drinking it.

Before police took her to jail, they say Farias-Swenson asked them if she could smoke a bowl of marijuana, telling cops she had a pill bottle with weed in it in her pocket.
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There’s nothing much more to say about this fuckery, this fuckery speaks for itself!!

source:kutv.com

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Drunk Woman Crashes Into Closed Weed Store To Teach A Lesson!!

Excerpt From Article:

Lisa Christine Walter, 37, appeared in Yellowstone County Justice Court on Monday on a felony criminal mischief charge and aggravated driving under the influence second offense, a misdemeanor. Justice of the Peace David Carter set bond at $10,000.

Police were called to Grow World, at 3130 King Ave. W., on Friday at 9 a.m., according to charges. There they found Walter drinking from a measuring glass, with her blue Honda Civic driven partially through the front doors of the business.

All 10 of the front windows to the business had been broken, police said. There was a baseball bat sticking out of the rear passenger side window, a sledgehammer sitting on the front seat and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the rear of the car.

Walter was reportedly agitated because she could not buy marijuana from the business because it was closed.
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Damn Lisa, you just pissed away probably the best connect you could have for weed in your town over your fuckery.. You honestly can chalk up this fuckery to Lisa slamming half a bottle of whiskey and then thinking “hey let me go pick up some green really quick.” A sober mind would have seen this store was close and contact their back up weed dealer, DUH!!!

source:helenair.com

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Cop Mistakes Pistachio Shells For Weed!!!

Excerpt From Article:

Spring Grove police stopped Pahlman for speeding on Jan. 5, according to a criminal complaint filed in McHenry County court. When an officer mistook the pile of de-shelled pistachios in her passenger seat for marijuana, the officer asked her to step out of the car, said her attorney, Philip Prossnitz.

A search of Pahlman’s car yielded no marijuana, but police found a bottle of the narcotic pain medication tramodol in her coat pocket, according to a motion her attorney filed.

Prossnitz said he now is trying to prove that police did not have a strong enough reason to search Pahlman’s vehicle.

The prescription for the pills was in a family member’s name, although Pahlman does have her own prescription for the medication to help treat chronic pain from fibromyalgia, Prossnitz said.

A year earlier, when Pahlman said she was driving a family member to cancer treatment, the pills fell out of the relative’s bag, and Pahlman put them in her coat pocket for safe keeping, Prossnitz said.

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If a police officer cannot distinguish the difference between pistachio shells and weed it maybe time for this police officer to find a new career.. Hopefully this lady’s lawyer can get this fuckery dismissed!!

source:nwherald.com
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Man Calls Police Because He Was Too High!!! Police Found Man In Fetal Position Surrounded By Snacks!

Excerpt From Article:

The Youngstown Vindicator reports that on Friday police responded to the 22-year-old man’s home in Austintown around 5:20 p.m., where they could hear the man groaning from a room. That’s when officers found him lying “on the floor in the fetal position” and “surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies,” the police report said.

He also claimed he couldn’t feel his hands because he had smoked too much marijuana.
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All my weed smokers out there, have you ever got this high before??? Honestly, I think this guy’s weed was laced or he is a novice pot smoker!

source:wric.com
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Man Killed For Not Sharing His Blunt

Excerpt From Article:

Jaquel Foots, 20, who was charged with murder in the April 6 shooting death of 28-year-old Arsennial Allen, appeared before a judge at the Leighton Criminal Court Building.

Prosecutors said Allen was smoking a blunt outside a store in the 2300 block of East 83rd Street in the South Chicago neighborhood just before 3:30 p.m.

Foots wanted a hit of the blunt and Allen, a store employee, refused, according to Assistant State’s Attorney Jillian Anselmo.

There isn’t much to say, this fuckery speaks for itself! We at humanfuckery.com would like to send our condolences to the victim’s family and friends!!

source:chicagotribune.com
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Cops Called After Man’s Blunts Were Stolen!!

Excerpt From Article:

Deputies raced to the scene and spoke with the victim about the alleged home burglary.

The victim said he left and returned to find the back door open.

“I looked inside and he [the burglar] stole all my blunts, my girls’ cell phone, and like 5 dollars in quarters,” the victim told deputies.

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People….if you have a cellphone install a find my phone app (i.e Find My Iphone or Find My Phone for Android) in case your phone is stolen… If this man would have had one of these apps installed he wouldn’t of had to get the police involved!!

see also:Chicago Man Shot And Killed For Not Sharing His Blunt!!!

source:sebastiandaily.com